In Our Defense

The other day I was complaining to Ben about my lovely new stretch marks, lamenting over my wardrobe (well, all three things that fit me right now and the rest which hasn't been updated since college), and being generally negative about my body, hair, skin, etc.


He looked at me with tired eyes and firmly warned me, "Don't talk to my wife that way."


His response shocked me.  Self depreciation?  Not okay in his book.  Good to know.  He was done with hearing me put myself down.  Life is tough enough without adding insult to injury.


My battered and war torn body has served me tirelessly over the past year.  It has  accomplished two of its occupant's life long dreams: running a half marathon and having a baby.  These stretch marks are battle scars.  Why would I apologize for such a miracle?  Instead of complaining, I should be reminded of the incredible life giving gift that is childbirth.  Carrying a tiny human for nine months and single handedly bringing her into this world, with the only lasting damage being lines down my belly?   I should be rejoicing!


My clothes leave a lot to be desired.  After college I could afford to spend half of my paycheck on new outfits and not think twice.  Now we get to buy diapers and pay for health insurance, conquer car repairs and balance grocery bills, but I wouldn't have it any other way.   All of this leaves little leverage in our $30 monthly shared clothing budget between the three of us, but you know what?  For me, there is more to life than being trendy.  I've heard it said that maturity is the ability to delay pleasure.  That makes me beautiful in my husband's eyes.  We are blessed beyond measure, learning great financial management tools we will carry with us for the rest of our lives.  


My hair has never been fabulous.  It became a little more favorable during pregnancy but is now going though the lovely falling out stage.  My friend Amy introduced me to Tiffany Starnes (Stella Nova King Street, book her!) a few years ago, and I could never repay her for the ways she has built me up over some tough seasons in my life.  Yes, it is a major splurge every few months to have a great haircut, but we plan for it and Ben loves how I feel after Tiffany has taken care of me.


Weight?  Oh dear.  My sister in law and I decided a long time ago that we won't allow ourselves to complain about it unless we are doing something about it.  And if we are doing something about it there will be less and less to complain about.  So now, I am back on #witnessthefitness and feeling great.   Pre baby jeans still don't fit quite right, but if I were being honest with myself, they probably didn't look too hot before baby.  There is a 99% chance that I will never be a size 4.  And I am completely down with that.  But I am being proactive for my sake, and all I can do is do the best with what I've got.


My husband came to my defense against none other than myself.  I believe every woman should have someone in her corner, someone to lift her up in light of herself.  We can be our worst enemy.  Mean-spirited.  Spiteful.  Angry.  Hateful.  All while looking in the mirror.


This is no excuse to be a fat frump.  It is an exaltation to husbands and friends everywhere who are able to see wives and friends for their truest beauty and push them to dig deeper within themselves for the benefit of all.  It is encouragement to myself and other women to do well with what we've been given and make the best from who we are.


A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. -Proverbs 31:10

Our one occasion for fancy in the past few months.